Tag Archives: Korea

First photos of Kim Jong III!

After years of speculation and vehement denial from North Korea’s useful idiot Alejandro Cao de Benos (who ith Spanith, tho he liketh tapath and thangria. And Vicky Chrithtina Barthelona), North Korea finally officially made Kim Jong Eun the heir to Kim Jong Il’s kingdom of impoverished Koreans. And finally, the world got their first glimpse of the recent him at North Korea’s Workers Party Congress, something that hasn’t happened since before Zooey Deschanel was born. And he looks like this!

He's the one on the left

And as you can see, he’s…erm…well, let’s just say that he’s not “slender”. I mean, it’s not a bad thing, he looks pretty self-conscious in that first photograph so I don’t want to make him feel worse about himself than he already does, because even if you have a million-man army, it doesn’t really help if you don’t feel good about who you are. Plus if I make fun of his…big-bonedness, he can probably use North Korea’s Computer Numerical Control magic to track me down and end my blog. Or he’ll cry, and I’ll feel real bad about making a to-be despot cry.

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Topping Hallmark’s Crass Commercialization of Holidays

Disclaimer: The author does not have the knowledge to speak authoritatively on the following subject. So he’ll just speak on the following subject.

How do you do it? You make your own holidays, then convince people that they have to observe it by buying useless things! It’s brilliant! Speaking of which, today (7.14) is Silver Day in Korea, a special day to show your appreciation for that special person by giving them a brand-new silver accessory. Or a vial of mercury. Anyway, here are some other special days in Korea that are rooted in the deep Korean tradition of commercializing holidays that don’t actually exist. Continue reading

Soju, Makes You Feel As Good As The Morning After

Disclaimer: The author does not have the knowledge to speak authoritatively on the following subject. So he’ll just speak on the following subject.

Today, I learned that according to the British magazine Drinks International, the top-selling spirit of 2008 was Jinro Soju, having sold 75.99 million boxes (9L each), outselling the runner-up Smirnoff Vodka by more than 50 million boxes. And apparently, it’s kept that position for 8 years straight. Impressive, no? Continue reading