Tag Archives: G.I. Joe

Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Note: The review isn't entirely in capital letters. I promise.

Note: The review isn't entirely in capital letters. I promise.

Synopsis: OH MY GOD THERE ARE NINJAS AND PEOPLE SHOOTING OTHER PEOPLE AND EXPLOSIONS AND PEOPLE CAUSING EXPLOSIONS AND THEN NINJAS SHOOTING PEOPLE AND NINJAS CAUSING EXPLOSIONS AND THEY HAVE THESE AWESOME SUITS WHICH MAKE THEM RUN REALLY FAST SO THAT THEY CAN CAUSE MORE EXPLOSIONS FASTER AND THEN THERE ARE HOT CHICKS WHO WEAR REVEALING ATTIRE WHILE SHOOTING PEOPLE AND CAUSING EXPLOSIONS AND THEY HAVE AWESOME VEHICLES THAT BLOW UP THINGS INCLUDING EACH OTHER’S AWESOME¬† VEHICLES AND THEN THEY BLOW UP HALF OF FRANCE AND SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF A POLAR BEAR AND OH MY GOD THERE’S THIS DUDE WHO MIND CONTROLS OTHER PEOPLE SO THEY CAN SHOOT PEOPLE AND BLOW THINGS UP AND THERE’S ALSO A COUPLE OF BACK STORIES BUT THEY DON’T HAVE EXPLOSIONS (WELL EXCEPT FOR ONE) PLUS THEY’RE SPOILERRIFIC SO I WON’T TALK ABOUT THEM BUT MY GOD THE BADASSERY OF THIS FILM- Continue reading