So this morning I woke up and because I like to be an irredeemable bum before Singles Awareness Day, I was planning on wearing my pajamas all day. But for some reason, I felt like I should wear my Arcade Fire shirt, I don’t know why. And now they’ve gone and won the Grammy for Best Album. I must have totally called it.
I’ll always remember you as the man who convinced me that scones were delicious. I raise a glass of dandelion and burdock cordial in your honor.
Some people make poor choices when drunk. I on the other hand, do not. In fact, I do the opposite. I make tasteful, some might even say elegant, choices. Like a set of 4 Bormioli Rocco Premium Martini glasses.
The internet makes life so awesome.
To think that I almost didn’t watch the show because I thought it was a 1960s version of American Psycho.
Not that it would have been a bad thing.
You can’t spell Broadway without ‘bro’.
This has potential…
Why, it's the lionhearted stalwart of Ingerlernd, Tiny Tears!
John Terry, former skipper of the Three Lions, lauded by the British press as the ‘English Bulldog’ and other completely undeserving and nonsensical superlatives, was not happy after England manager Fabio Capello stripped him of his captaincy. After all, he didn’t do anything wrong. He just slept with his former club teammate’s girlfriend and arranged for her to have an abortion, never mind the fact that he’s already married. Soccer-sorry, football players aren’t supposed to be role models, just people that children look up to, right? So Fabio Capello totally had no right to take away his armband for making things really awkward in the locker room and making the second-choice leftback of the English team retire from international soc-football, yeah?
So anyway, in a pathetic chav attempt to get back at Fabio Capello, Terry figured that he could get the team to revolt against the coach, since they were utter shite against the Colonies and the French Colonies through the manager’s disastrous tactics and absolutely no fault of their own (except for Wayne Rooney. He singlehandedly prevented the team from winning by being where the ball was supposed to be and not where the ball was bouncing off the opposition). So he publicly announces to the press (who have been nothing but supportive for the Three Lions except in all those matches where they played s-football) that he’s going to speak to the coach about various grievances that the players(read: he) have, including being treated like teenagers (because tattling to the press is so mature) and whatnot, and that he’s got the backing of the team. Turns out, he didn’t really have the backing of the team, and the players weren’t too happy about being lumped together with Terry in his pathetic coup attempt. So that fizzled out, and now Terry’s on Capello’s bad side. And you don’t want to be on Fabio Capello’s bad side.
- This is Capello when he’s happy. Imagine what would happen if he were upset?
It has recently occurred to me that there are some posts on this blog that I have no recollection of writing. I blame my drug-fueled, devil-may-care, write-three-posts-a-day period of my youth. And my failing memory. Anyway, I found that some of these posts are actually worth reading. You know, just because I don’t think I’ve read them before. And I know there are only about 5 people who’ve read most of the stuff on my blog, and I convince myself that more people read than that. But it’s a hassle to click through page after page, especially when there are an undisclosed number of posts. Therefore, in order to make my life easy, I’ve created a “View Arbitrary Post” button on the sidebar, which should help me read random posts from the past, or possibly the recent present. OR EVEN THE FUTURE. It’s a great procrastination tool! So yeah, if you want to read an arbitrary post from this blog, click on the silly face to your right. It’s pretty hard to miss.