Merry Holidays, Everybody

So I was letting my mind wander during Christmas mass and thought about the first Christmas. Now, the Bible has a lot of stories and lessons for the modern man, and the Christmas story is no exception. You see, the three wise men brought Our Lord and Savior the Baby Jesus three gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Now, I know that gold is a common gift to infants in many countries. I myself have received gold…or so my parents tell me, because I was too young to remember. But the other two? Frankincense and myrrh? Even Sunday school teachers struggle to explain what frankincense and myrrh are before resorting to the “it was a big deal back then” explanation. So apparently frankincense is some sort of aromatic resin product, like really expensive potpourri or scented candles, you know, for Joseph and Mary to use to spice up their bedroom life-oh wait, they were celibate, weren’t they? Gift wasted. And myrrh? Aside from the you’re-going-to-die implications of its use for embalming bodies, myrrh was also used as a medicinal product, mainly for dressing wounds. Wounds? Like perhaps, nail wounds? Seriously, a terrible reminder for the Baby Jesus that HE’S GOING TO DIE FOR OUR SINS.

Lesson? Even the Baby Jesus got shitty Christmas gifts. Don’t complain because you got some books.

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