World Cup Schadenfreude: John Terry’s Failed Mutiny

Why, it's the lionhearted stalwart of Ingerlernd, Tiny Tears!

John Terry, former skipper of the Three Lions, lauded by the British press as the ‘English Bulldog’ and other completely undeserving and nonsensical superlatives, was not happy after England manager Fabio Capello stripped him of his captaincy. After all, he didn’t do anything wrong. He just slept with his former club teammate’s girlfriend and arranged for her to have an abortion, never mind the fact that he’s already married. Soccer-sorry, football players aren’t supposed to be role models, just people that children look up to, right? So Fabio Capello totally had no right to take away his armband for making things really awkward in the locker room and making the second-choice leftback of the English team retire from international soc-football, yeah?

So anyway, in a pathetic chav attempt to get back at Fabio Capello, Terry figured that he could get the team to revolt against the coach, since they were utter shite against the Colonies and the French Colonies through the manager’s disastrous tactics and absolutely no fault of their own (except for Wayne Rooney. He singlehandedly prevented the team from winning by being where the ball was supposed to be and not where the ball was bouncing off the opposition). So he publicly announces to the press (who have been nothing but supportive for the Three Lions except in all those matches where they played s-football) that he’s going to speak to the coach about various grievances that the players(read: he) have, including being treated like teenagers (because tattling to the press is so mature) and whatnot, and that he’s got the backing of the team. Turns out, he didn’t really have the backing of the team, and the players weren’t too happy about being lumped together with Terry in his pathetic coup attempt. So that fizzled out, and now Terry’s on Capello’s bad side. And you don’t want to be on Fabio Capello’s bad side.

This is Capello when he’s happy. Imagine what would happen if he were upset?

One response to “World Cup Schadenfreude: John Terry’s Failed Mutiny

  1. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

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