Eric Schmidt Doppelganger Sighting!!!

So today I was in the metro today commuting to work as always, and in the same car as I is none other than Eric Schmidt! Or so I thought the first time I saw him on the same car as I, which was last Thursday. I thought it was quite weird that the CEO of Google, a multibillionaire no doubt, would take public transit in a city that he had no business being in! Or did he? After all, Google is going under some scrutiny from Congress on matters of privacy or whatever, so it’s possible that he was called in to answer some questions or something or maybe he was lobbying the President on matters of the Apple-Google war or Net neutrality or Androids or something like that. He was quite nicely dressed in a suit and he had a worn leather folder with some documents in it, which I figured was him being discrete or maybe just not being Eric Schmidt, but then I looked at his glasses, and he definitely had the same round almost-Harry Potter-esque glasses that Eric Schmidt wears! So I was like, oh my god, I’m standing in front of the CEO of the most influential company in the world or someone who just looks like him! He probably owns my identity or is just a random office worker who looks reminiscent of a Silicon Valley giant! And so I got off at Farragut North, where my work is, and he got off too! That was really odd, since Farragut North is close to a bunch of lobbying firms on K Street-oh my god! That’s where he was going! I just realized that maybe he was taking public transit and being chill like that because he’s Eric Fucking Schmidt! He could show up in a limousine or a rickshaw and those lobbyists with their thousand-dollar cufflinks would be like, holy crap, it’s Eric Schmidt! But then today I saw him again and he was wearing a polo and khakis and being all chill and Eric Schmidt-like, showing up around 10-ish in the metro. I looked at him again and he definitely had the same glasses on, but there was no reason why he’d still be in Washington DC! I mean, Eric Schmidt has better things to do with his time than sit on the metro 3,000 miles away from his workplace. So I don’t really know, I tried Googling (haha, the irony) to see if he had any business in DC or something, but I couldn’t find anything whatsoever. So maybe it wasn’t him.

"Why would I be in DC? I don't know, but I must be!"


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