When the Great Leader Ronald Reagan, a god born when the stars in the sky aligned with the stripes of the earth and heralded by a steely-eyed bald eagle with plumage of red white and blue, singlehandedly defeated the Communist demon Gorbachev with the power of his words and ushered in a new era of everlasting peace and prosperity in the glorious nation of these United States of America, he did proclaim that it was again morning in America. Unfortunately the bright light of morning was tarnished by the Socialist policies of the immoral Bill Clinton, a man who was an unpatriotic product of an elite education. This elitist did ruin our country with a war against Iraq and endangered our country by fraternizing with Osama bin Laden, not to mention destroying the livelihood of countless American comrades by signing the North America Free Terrorists Act with Colombia, Venezuela, Iran, and Mexico . He himself was of poor character, having had inappropriate relations with bourgeois liberal Monica Lewinsky. It was a dark time for America, with Clinton’s false prophet Al Gore spreading false rumors about global warming which has been since refuted by the massive snowstorms earlier this year. Now native Kenyan Barack Hussein Obama has usurped the White House which rightfully belongs to the great American people and is creating a totalitarian government which is taking over the economy, the health care, and the minds of the American people. Death squads roam the hospitals while fat-cat politicians drink the blood of Joe Six-Pack. It is truly a dark time in America.
But like Jesus came from the wilderness of Nazareth, so has the Dear Leader future-president Sarah Palin come out of the wilderness of Alaska like a wolf chased by a helicopter to save this country along with fellow patriots Dick Cheney, who has been keeping our country free of terrorist attacks, Glenn Beck, intellectual of the highest degree, and Rush Limbaugh, the John the Baptist of our times. Though the mainstream media continues to attack future-President Palin with gotcha questions and slanderous rumors, she continues to fight for the everyday Amercan, making sure that taxes are cut, Medicare benefits are increased, jobs are increased, and America is kept safe. And so, she does state her plan to rescue America and restore the morning that the Great Leader did bestow upon us undeserving Americans and snatch victory from the jaws of the liberal elite Democrats, who are out of touch and eat the barrels of pork.
…okay, I started reading the book but stopped midway. I mean, the book was going to end anyway, so what’s the point?