I’ll always remember you as the man who convinced me that scones were delicious. I raise a glass of dandelion and burdock cordial in your honor.

Either that or bruSHetta, SHedule, and SHool.

Take your pick.

First it was Paris in Taken, now Berlin? I can’t wait till he destroys Rome in Forsaken, where he plays Elliot Johnson, who is on vacation with his wife until she mysteriously disappears in the middle of the night. Hounded by shadowy government agents, he inadvertently uncovers a global conspiracy/criminal ring while searching for his wife, who is the key to everything. Something like that.

"Kevin Flynn was able to build this in a cave..."

"WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!!"

Lesson? Even the Baby Jesus got shitty Christmas gifts. Don’t complain because you got some books.

Glee is a show that has consistently disappointed me and let me down. The characters change personalities every episode or so, the storylines range from the trite After School Special variety to the downright bizarre yet somehow unfunny, and the song choices are becoming increasingly arbitrary and uninspired. It makes for entertaining television, in that train wreck sort of way. Yet for all of its faults, I continue to watch it. TV critics who have savaged far better shows continue to watch it. People who complain about every episode still watch it. Do you know why?

Because the first couple of shows had so much promise. The pilot, despite its obvious flaws, hinted that Glee could improve into a far better show, something that everybody could enjoy. We still believe that it could become a better show, no, an amazing show, even though it’s breaking our hearts and embarrassing us and our friends who watch it. We still hope that some day, the show will come to its senses and try its best to return to what we saw in the beginning, to fulfill the promises that we hoped it would. We still dream, even though it’s becoming increasingly clear that the show is sliding to an inescapable black hole of disappointment like that other show Heroes. We’ve been burned before, but you know, maybe this time, maybe this show will turn itself around. That’s why we continue to watch Glee.

And that is also why otherwise smart girls date assholes.

Probably one of the better songs based on Plato to come out in recent years, don’t you think? I’d definitely put it in my top 10.

The internet makes life so awesome.